- 力道可以吧，加里？ - 好极了 - Pressure's all right, Gary? - It's perfect.
- 油温是不是太高了？ - 感觉不错 And the oil is not too warm? It feels nice.
您希望我今天重点关注哪个区域？ Is there any area in particular you want me to focus on today?
嗯... Um...
你可以... You could, um...
你可以去... You could go, uh...
更低点？ Lower?
疯狂作死夜
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
对不起，我被音乐刺激到了 I'm sorry, this music is triggering me.
我能换个不那么伤感的吗？ Can I change it to something less traumatic?
哦，嗯，当然 Oh, um, sure.
有点像我在葬礼上 Kind of feels like I was getting you off
给你打手枪，你知道吗？ at a funeral, you know?
顺便说一句，你的房子真不错 You have a dope house, by the way.
- 谢谢 - 很性感 - Thank you. - It's, like, sexy.
嗯...哦，天啊 Mmm... Oh, God.
♪ 拱我，干我 ♪ ♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
爸爸最好让我窒息 你最好 ♪ Daddy better make me choke You better ♪
♪ 拱我，干我 ♪ ♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
我的隧道喜欢深喉，真的...... ♪ My tunnel loves To deep throat, it do... ♪
舔，舔，舔，舔 我想吃你的家伙 ♪ Lick, lick, lick, lick I wanna eat your dick ♪
但我不能搞坏指甲 ♪ But I can't fuck up My nails ♪
所以我要用筷子 捡起它...... ♪ So I'mma pick it up With chopsticks... ♪
- 不好意思，科里 是吗？ - 对，科里带K的 - I'm so sorry. Cory, is it? - Yeah, Kory. With a K.
我们能不能尽量减少干扰？ Could we just keep the distractions to a minimum?
我很抱歉 我停止服用我的Vyvanse了，我 -- I'm sorry. I stopped taking my Vyvanse, and I have--
没事的 我只是... It's okay. I'm just...
- 关掉音乐？ - 拜托 So the music, off? Please?
好的 Yeah.
我非常非常抱歉 I'm so, so sorry.
你能不嚼口香糖吗？ Is there any way that you could not chew gum?
贱人，是不是我连呼吸都不行？ Bitch, am I not allowed to breathe?
- 口香糖不见了 可以吧？ - 是的，对不起 Gum's gone. Are we good? Yeah. I'm sorry.
- 没事。我能继续吗？ - 请吧 谢谢 It's fine. Can I proceed? Please. Thank you.
那么...你有一个很大的房子 So you have, like, a really big house.
谁住在这里？ Who all lives here?
嗯，只是... Um, just...
只有我 Just me.
卧槽 Damn!
没有丈夫？没有妻子？ No husband? No wife?
嗯... Um...
妻子？我有过一个妻子 Wife. I had a wife.
嗯，这个词。我以前也上过女孩 Hm, word. I used to fuck girls too,
然后我意识到，在舔阴户方面我很差劲 and then I realized I sucked dick at eating pussy.
她离开了 她带走了孩子 She left. She took the kids, and--
真是个贱人 男孩还是女孩？ What a bitch. Boys or girls?
男孩，现在是男人了，真的 Boys. Well, men now, really.
他们性感吗？ Are they hot?
- 什么？ - 你的两个儿子 他们性感吗 What? Your two sons, are they hot?
我不知道 I don't know.
得了吧 加里 你显然是个仙女 Come on, Gary. You're clearly a fairy.
至少现在你是了，呵呵 Or at least now you are, heh.
- 他们是我的孩子 - 这不是变态 They're my children! It's not perverted.
我的表亲们真他妈性感 My cousins are so fucking hot.
我是说，他们都是帅小伙 I mean, they're good-looking young men.
好的 Okay.
天啊 Jesus!
加里？你和多少人做过这个？ Gary? How many guys have you done this with?
嗯... Um...
- 一个？一个，就像... One? One, like...
像是，你是我的第一个 Like, you're my first.
我是第一个按摩你的？ I'm your first massage?
不，我的意思是，是的，但是... No. I mean, yes, but...
你是第一个和我亲密接触的男人 You're the first guy that I've ever been intimate with.
- 加里，闭嘴 - 没什么大不了的 Gary, shut up. It's not a big deal.
加里，这他妈是件大事 Gary, this is a big fucking deal.
我要喝一杯 我要喝一杯 来吧 来吧！我勒个去 I need a drink. I need a drink. Come on. Come on! Holy shit.
你要去哪儿？ Where are you going?
你从来没碰过鸡巴？甚至连小孩的也没？ MASSEUR: So you've never touched a dick before? Like, even as a kid?
嗯... Um...
没有 No.
哦，天哪，加里，那太逊了 Oh, my God, Gary, that is so gay.
- 我不该喝酒，所以... - 那是我这辈子听过的 I'm not supposed to drink, so-- That is the most repressed
最压抑的天主教屁话 Catholic-ass bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
有一次，我在乡村俱乐部的蒸汽室里打飞机 I did jerk off once in a steam room at our country club.
天哪，都没在健身房？上帝啊，加里 God, not even an Equinox? Jesus Christ, Gary.
那是很久以前的事了。现在世界不同了 It was a long time ago. The world's different now.
贱人，拜托，古希腊人都是同性恋 Bitch, please. The ancient Greeks were gay as shit.
宙斯早餐、午餐和晚餐都吃鸡巴！ Zeus ate dick for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
这就是他身体强壮的原因 That's why he was so strong.
吃了所有精液 All the cum.
咋了？ What?
你是一个非常有活力的年轻人 You're a very spirited young man.
你知道最有趣的是什么吗？ You know what is so funny?
人们总是说这样的屁话 People say shit like that all the time,
我从不知道是啥意思 and I never know what it means.
啊 但这与我无关 这与你有关 Ahh! But this isn't about me. This is about you.
我想知道，为什么是现在？ I wanna know, why now?
真不敢相信我会告诉你这些 I can't believe I'm telling you this.
我很年轻就结婚，很年轻就有了孩子 I got married so young, I had kids so young
我从未给过自己机会 that I never gave myself an opportunity--
我的妈呀 我都没想到 Holy shit! I didn't even think about that.
你的孩子们太幸运了 Your kids are so lucky.
- 为什么？ - 他们有个同性恋老爸 Why? They have a gay dad.
还有比这更好的吗？ What's better than that?
我很怀疑他们会这么想，科里 Well, I doubt they see it that way, Kory.
请叫我卡梅伦 Please, call me Cameron.
科里是我的工作名，这有助于我进入角色 Kory's the work name, it helps me get into character.
但我们现在是朋友了 But you and I are friends now.
好的 Okay.
卡梅伦 Well, Cameron, um,
- 我的孩子们不跟我说话，所以... - 什么？ my kids don't talk to me, so... What?
对不起，你是说你家人不跟你说话？ Sorry, you're telling me that your family won't talk to you
因为你喜欢"屌"而不喜欢"屄"？ because you prefer bussy over pussy?
- 搞什么鬼？ - 帕蒂有她的理由 What the actual fuck? Patty had her reasons.
- 我想孩子们... - 天啊帕蒂？帕蒂 And I think the kids-- God! Patty? Oh, Patty!
帕蒂是个非常非常下流的名字，加里 Patty's a very, very cunty name, Gary.
- 卡梅伦 - 不！ Cameron. No!
对不起，加里，这简直是胡扯 I'm sorry, Gary, but that is bullshit.
胡说八道 Bullshit.
你对那些贱人很诚实 You were honest with those bitches,
她们背弃了你 and they turn their back on you
因为你的性取向？ 'cause of your sexuality?
我会帮你跟那个贱人说的 I'll talk to that bitch for you.
我是个热心人。把电话给我 I'm a people person. Give me your phone.
不，你不必 No. You don't have to--
唯一比我爸爸是同性恋更好的 The only thing better than my dad being gay
就是他是一位灵气大师 would have been him being like a reiki master.
如果我有你这样的爸爸，我会死而无憾的 I would have killed to have a dad like you.
我要死了 I'm dying.
哦，宝贝，我也快死了 Oh, baby, I'm dying too.
我是说，每天晚上我睡着 I mean, every night I fall asleep--
我真的快死了 I'm actually dying.
我有一个无法手术的脑瘤 I have an inoperable brain tumor.
哦，该死 Oh, shit.
对不起，我...我真的不知道该说什么 I'm sorry. I... I really don't know what to say.
肯定的话不是我喜欢说的 Words of affirmation is not my love language.
更像是... It's more like...
好吧 不 好吧 Okay, no. Okay, it--
你不必担心不知道如何回答 You don't have to worry about not knowing how to respond.
到目前为止，包括我自己在内，没人有这么好的反应 Nobody's reacted that well thus far, myself included.
加里你还好吗？ Oh, Gary. Are you okay?
我的意思是，我知道你不好，很明显。但我是说... I mean, I know you're not okay, obviously. But I mean...
我好像才意识到 It's like I just realized
我已经活了近半个世纪 that I've been alive for nearly half a century
而实际上，我连一秒钟都没活过 and I haven't actually lived even a second of it.
好吧，加里。加里 我来帮你 Okay. Okay, Gary. Gary, I'm gonna help you.
- 什么？ - 我们给你找个人吧 What? Let's find someone for you.
会把你的需要放在第一位的人 Someone you've always wanted who will put what you want first.
老实说，你就不能干完活就走吗？ Honestly, can't you just finish the hand job and go?
哦，闭嘴 Oh, shut up.
闭嘴 加里 我们去找吧 Shut up, Gary. We're doing this.
你必须这么做 You are gonna do this.
你听说过 Plungr 吗？ Now, have you heard of Plungr?
- 没有 - 这是一款性爱应用 No. It's a sex app.
我为什么需要性爱应用程序？我可是花了钱的 Why do I need a sex app? I literally paid for you.
呃，因为你不在一个应用程序上 Uh, because you're not gay until you've hooked up
勾搭上一个和照片完全不一样的 with a complete stranger on an app,
完全陌生的人就不是同性恋 who looks nothing like their pictures.
- 好吧 - 好了，速成班 Okay. Okay, so crash course.
基本上，一旦您建立了个人档案 Basically, once you set up your profile,
然后输入您的统计数据 then you put in your stats.
这是最基本的 That's the basics.
你的身高、体型 Your height, your body type,
你的代词，你的立场 your pronouns, your positions.
上面 下面 我们稍后解释 Top, bottom. We'll figure it out later.
- 天哪 - 你的恋爱状况 Jesus. Your relationship status,
最后约会日期，等等 date last tested, et cetera.
然后砰的一声 你的洞被舔了 And boom! You're getting your hole licked,
沙拉被拌了，地毯被啃了 your salad tossed, your carpet munched
由你最好朋友的父亲或壁橱里的邻居 -- by your best friends' dad or closeted neighbor--
抱歉，这信息量太大了听不懂 I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in.
太多了 加里 我希望有一个同性恋的学习软件 It's a lot, Gary. I wish they had a gay Duolingo.
你知道吗？ You know what?
你为什么不自己去看看呢？ Why don't you see for yourself?
去吧 Go on.
我的天啊 这么多帅哥 Oh, my God. There's so many hot guys.
是的，有啊 Yes, there are.
但如果你想和他们中的任何一个谈谈 But if you wanna talk to any of them,
你需要一个头像 you're gonna need an avatar.
个人照片，加里 Profile picture, Gary.
你需要一张个人照片 You're gonna need a profile picture,
否则就没人理你 or no one's gonna answer.
您知道家中有哪些照明设备吗？ Do you know what lighting in your house
让你的肌肤看着最有光泽？ makes you the most dewy?
我能用你的照片吗？ Can we just use a picture of you?
你认真的？ Seriously?
看看你 我不会得到很多回应的 Look at you. I'm not gonna get very many responses.
嗯，是的，不是这种态度 Uh, yeah, not with that attitude.
- 你知道你的角度吗？ - 我的角度？ Do you know your angles? My angles?
哦，他妈的，加里 Oh, for fuck's sake, Gary.
拜托，我不能什么都教你 Come on, I can't just teach you everything.
性感吗？ Hot?
嗯 是啊，很性感 Mm-hm. Yeah, that's very hot.
我知道 I know.
我就叫我们 "拉德和爸爸 "吧 I'll just call us "Lad and Dad."
好吧，嗯... Okay, um...
嗯 Hmm.
这个人怎么样？ How about this guy?
两英里远 Two miles away.
"DOM顶级，DL，Masc4masc，我喜欢吸" "Dom Top, DL, Masc4masc, I love to suck."
什么是 DL？就是 "下流"，就像你一样 What's DL? That's down-low, just like you.
我喜欢他的帽子 Well, I like his hat.
好的 Okay.
"我喜欢你的帽子，兄弟。你真性感" "I like your hat, bro. You're hot."
"你也是" 等等 他已经回信了？ "You too." Wait, he already wrote back?
没错 "过来给我放水" Yep. "Come over and drain me."
好吧 对不起 不 卡梅隆 我想这可能是太过了 Okay, I'm sorry. No, Cameron, I think this might be too much.
- 哦，太迟了 他在路上了 - 等等 什么？ Oh, too late. He's on his way. Wait. What?
- 我设置定位了 - 你把我的地址给他了？ I dropped a pin. You gave him my address?
- 是啊 - 我可能还没准备好呢 Yeah. I might not be ready for this.
我花了一个星期才鼓起勇气给你打电话 It took me a week to work up the courage to call you.
现在你邀请了一个陌生人来我家 And now you've invited some complete stranger to my home.
- 加里 加里 - 我都不认识这个人 Gary, Gary-- I don't even know this person.
- 我该如何反应？ - 放松 How am I supposed to react? Loosen up.
- 怎么放松？ - 因为你和我在一起 How? Because you're with me.
我就像人肉炸弹 我让任何人敞开心扉 I'm like human poppers. I open anyone up.
您所要做的就是 坐下来 放松一下 All you have to do is sit back and relax.
放松 Relax.
你会没事的，我承 You're gonna be okay, I prom.
承？ Prom?
"承诺"的一半 Half a promise.
- 这是你编的词？ - 我的天啊 Did you just make that up? Oh, my God.
这是纽约 加里 It's New York, Gary.
真人秀明星哦，你还有很多东西要学 The reality star. Oh, you have so much to learn.
我要去你的厨房 I'm going to your kitchen.
加里，这里太闷了 你得活跃一下气氛 Gary, it's so harsh in here. You need to liven it up.
勺子 勺子 勺子 Spoon, spoon, spoon...
妈的 你真的快死了，是吗？ Shit. You really are dying, aren't you?
"加里和帕特里夏的婚姻美满幸福 "Gary and Patricia had a beautiful marriage,
充满祝福和爱 filled with blessing and love.
他们的共同生活和谐而美满 The life they shared was harmonious and fulfilling,
抚养孩子 raising the boys.
然而，加里现在已经离开了这段婚姻 However, Gary has now left the marriage
最终追求自己的同性恋生活 to finally pursue his life as a gay man.
震惊和心痛无以言表 There are no words to describe the shock and heartache
帕特里夏对加里新道路的看法" Patricia feels regarding Gary's new path."
Yikademente. Yikademente.
加里 天啊 Gary! Oh, my God.
好吧，我们能谈谈这个吗？ Okay, can we please talk about this?
这他妈的是啥？ Because what the actual fuck?
你从哪儿弄来的？我翻了你的东西 Where did you get that? I went through your shit.
哦，当然 Oh, of course.
分手后，帕蒂以有趣和手工艺 After the split, Patty lashed out
的方式抨击这事 in interesting and craft-based ways.
这是在加重纸上写的 It's on, like, weighted paper.
你是说她去了复印店... You're telling me she went to Kinko's
- 印了好多份？ - 她寄给了... and printed how many copies? She sent them
我们生活中的很多人 to quite a number of people in our lives.
加里，这就像是为你写的悼词。安息吧 Gary, it's like a eulogy for straight you. Rest in peace.
嗯... Well...
至少你还能保住房子 At least you got to keep the house.
当我出柜时，我失去了衣柜 When I came out of the closet, I lost the closet
以及衣柜所在的房间 and the room the closet was in.
这就是你最终这样做的原因吗？ Is that why you ended up doing this?
你他妈的什么意思？ The fuck do you mean by that?
你的工作并不是很多人的首选 Your line of work is not exactly many people's first choice.
你不觉得这他妈有点妄加评论吗？ A little fucking judgmental, don't you think?
我只是说，孩子们想当宇航员、消防员 I'm just saying, kids wanna be astronauts, firemen.
他们不会在招聘会上挑选性工作者 They don't pick sex worker at the job fair.
好吧 如果他们像我一样... Right. Well, they would
在 8 岁时被折腾得死去活来，他们会的 if they were tossed around as an 8-year-old, like I was.
我他妈开玩笑呢 I'm fucking joking.
你是认真的吗？这就是你的真实想法？ Are you serious? That's what you actually think?
我一定发生了什么可怕的事情 That something terrible must have happened to me
把我引向这里？上帝保佑我找到了什么 to lead me to this? God forbid I found something
我所擅长的，并靠它挣钱 that I'm good at, and I monetized it.
但你不能永远做这个 But you can't do this forever.
当你到了我这个年纪，你会做什么？ When you're my age, what will you do?
我不知道 加里 I don't know, Gary.
我想我会压抑一切自然产生的欲望 I guess I'll repress every desire that comes naturally,
娶了一个不知情的女人，生了两个儿子 marry an unsuspecting woman, have two sons,
活在谎言中，直到我发现自己死于癌症 live a lie until I find out I'm dying of cancer.
- 嘿，哇哦 - 不 - Hey, whoa. - No!
不，你如履薄冰，亲爱的 No, you are on thin ice, sweetie.
对不起，我...你是对的 I'm sorry. I... You're right.
我想这是我为了帮你 I guess that that was my poor attempt
做出的拙劣尝试 at helping you.
啊 好吧，记下来，好好记住： Aw. Well, write this down and remember it fondly:
我他妈的不需要你帮助 I don't need your fucking help.
上帝啊 God!
天哪，如果这是我作为父亲最好的忠告 My God, if that was my best stab at fatherly advice,
难怪我自己的孩子都不愿意跟我说话 it's no wonder my own kids don't wanna speak to me.
好了，怜悯派对到此为止 Okay, enough of this whole pity party.
那是什么？ What is that?
这就是所谓的预锻炼 It's called pre-workout.
就像冰毒一样，适合有目标的人 Like meth for people with goals.
- 你为什么现在才喝？ - 你没喝红牛 Why are you taking it now? You didn't have Red Bull.
顺便说一句，这是个大错误 Which, by the way, big mistake.
- 大 巨大 - 漂亮女人 Big. Huge. Pretty Woman.
终于 有你知道的句子了 Finally, a fucking reference you know.
《漂亮女人》是我最喜欢的电影之一 Pretty Woman is one of my favorite films.
这就能解释你对性工作的态度了 That would explain your attitude towards sex work.
是你刚刚引用的 Well, you're the one who just quoted it.
- 真不错 贱人 - 是啊 Touché, bitch. Yeah.
妈的 他来了 他来了 Oh, fuck. He's here. He's here!
天哪，我该怎么办？ Oh, my God, what do I do?
你上楼去 Hey. You go upstairs,
穿得性感一点，我会搞定的 wear something sexy, I got this covered.
- 走吧 快走 - 好的 Go! Go! Okay.
性感 Sexy.
- 你好 - 你好，兄弟？ Hello. 'Sup, bro?
已经和我击拳了 Ooh! Fist me already!
我是萨米 I'm Sammy.
我是Kory，K开头的那个 迷失的卡戴珊 I'm Kory, with a K. The lost Kardashian.
嗯，不错的卡车 Mm, nice truck.
你停了这么远 You parked so far.
只想进去，然后出来 Just wanna get in and get out.
你可以进去了 你可以进去了 Oh. You can get in, all right.
嗯，嗯，嗯 Mm, mm, mm!
来吧 Come on.
- 这个地方是涂料，哥们 - 你一个人住吗？ - This place is dope, man. - Do you live here alone?
嗯，如果你在 Plungr 认真看，我是小伙子... Um, well, if you noticed on Plungr, I am Lad...
这是爸爸 and this is Dad.
你好 Hi.
这他妈是谁 Who the fuck is this
长得像罗杰斯先生的混蛋？ Mister Rogers-looking-ass dude?
我不是让你穿性感点吗？ I thought I told you to wear something sexy.
穿上它，我感觉非常性感 I feel very sexy in this.
简介上写着 "小伙子和爸爸" The profile said "Lad and Dad."
你并没有说什么三人行，所以... You didn't say nothing about a threesome, so...
你也没说自己是个爱抱怨的底层人 And you didn't say anything about being a whiny bottom.
- 但我们见面了 - 我不是底层 我是最棒的 But here we are. I'm no bottom! I'm all top.
是的，我相信你是，你这个自我憎恨的小贱人 Yeah, I'm sure you are, you self-hating little bitch.
- 卡梅伦 - 闭上你的臭嘴 Cameron. Shut the fuck up, please.
我们都知道你只是一个洞 We both know you're just a gaping hole,
那就他妈给我好好伺候这个老二！ so pipe the fuck down and service this cock!
呃... Uh...
操，你真性感 Fuck, you're sexy.
你知道你不配给我吹箫，对吧？ You know you don't deserve to suck this cock, though, right?
我知道 I know.
对不起，先生 I'm sorry, sir.
不过，我会吸得很爽的 I'll suck it so good, though.
动手吧 Do it.
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you, sir. Thank you.
哦 对 操 耶 Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
嗯...嗯... Mm... Mmm...
嘿，给我吹箫的时候闭上你的臭嘴 Hey, you shut your fucking mouth when you're sucking this dick.
- 求你了，先生，我还想要 - 好啊 Please, sir, I want some more. Yeah, you do.
是啊，你喜欢那个鸡巴吗？ 你这个小贱人？ Yeah, you like that dick, you little Oliver Twist-ass bitch?
哦，上帝啊 就像多汁的香肠 Oh, God. It's like a juicy bratwurst.
你让我... You make me...
你让我恶心，你这个小孤儿 You make me sick, you little orphan boy.
嗯...我是个孤儿 Mmm... I'm an orphan.
再他妈深点 贱人 Fucking deeper, bitch.
你这个街头顽童 You little street urchin.
你这个穿着紫屁股小短裤的小乞丐婊子 You little begging bitch with your little purple-ass shorts.
我是你的街头顽童，狗娘养的 SAMMY : I'm your fucking street urchin, motherfucker.
来吧，爸爸 Come on, Dad.
来吧 Come on.
我操 没事的 Fuck me. CAMERON: It's okay.
哦，是的。你得把它他妈的插深点 SAMMY: Oh, yes. You gotta put it fucking deep in there.
等等 你为什么停下来？ Wait. Why are you stopping?
- 我不能这样做 - 不能做什么？ I can't do this. Can't do what?
当你的用户名是 Looking2Succ 的时候，你就在吹箫吗？ Suck a dick when your username's Looking2Succ?
这个会计师模样的混蛋可不行 Not with this accountant-looking motherfucker.
- 对不起 - 加里是个美男子 I'm sorry. Gary is a beautiful man
和我们其他人一样，值得匿名口交 who deserves anonymous blowjobs, just like the rest of us.
- 他看起来糟透了 - 你才看起来糟透了 He looks like shit. You look like shit,
- 你这个铅笔小弟弟 - 什么？ you little pencil dick! What?
我还没完全硬起来呢，兄弟 I'm not even fully hard, bro.
哦，真的吗？ Oh, really?
另外，我也没有机会展示自己的个性 Plus, I didn't get to showcase my personality.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
Looking2Succ Looking2Succ,
我给了你足够的时间 I've given you plenty of time
- 来展示你的个性 - 去你妈的 to showcase your personality. Fuck you.
我更喜欢一对一 而且照片里只有你一个人 I'm better one-on-one. And it was just you in the picture.
而不是你那该死的 "阁楼上的花朵"老爸 Not your Flowers in the Attic fucking sidepiece daddy.
反正我也不是同性恋 I'm not even gay, anyway.
你刚才随口提到了《阁楼上的花朵》 You just casually referenced Flowers in the Attic.
- 你绝对是个基佬 - 我有老婆了 You are an absolute faggot! I got a wife.
- 他也是！ - 前妻 So does he! Ex-wife.
你也会加上"前" And you'll be adding ex to the title
当她发现你是底层人时！ when she finds out you're a bottom!
- 嘴巴放干净点，兄弟 - 哦？ Watch your fucking mouth, bro! Oh?
我警告你，我会把你打晕的 I'm warning you, I will knock you out.
哦 不 他会把我打晕的 加里 Oh, no. He's gonna knock me out, Gary,
他会用他的《阁楼上的花朵》来打我 he's gonna hit me with his Flowers in the Attic.
好了，孩子们 孩子们 Okay. Boys. Boys.
你是一个F-A-双G-O-T You are a F-A-double G-O-T,
- 基佬 - 这是对你最后的警告，兄弟 faggot! This is your last warning, bro!
- 你是个基佬 - 去你妈的 You're a faggot! Fuck you!
这是一次华丽的着陆 It was a gorgeous landing.
- 你为什么要这么做？ - 做什么？ Why would you do that? Do what?
你煽动了他。你激怒了他 You instigated him. You riled him up.
嘿，等等，等等 Hey, hold on, hold on.
他真的向我冲了过来 He literally charged at me
你把我推开了 and you pushed me out of the way.
这怎么会是我的错？ How is this my fault?
如果你能闭嘴 If you had only shut up,
他就不会冲动了 he wouldn't have done the charging.
哦，当然，你会站在他那边 Oh, of course, you're gonna take his side.
两个被压抑的同性恋者把他们的羞耻和痛苦归咎于我 Two repressed queers blaming their shame and misery on me,
- 一个安全、稳定的同性恋 - 稳定？ a secure, stable homosexual. Stable?
是啊，我怎么会让这种事发生？ Yeah. How did I let this happen?
我的天啊 My God!
等等，这一切都是你的主意 Wait, this whole thing was your idea.
- 整件事 - 不不不 The whole thing. Hey! No, no, no!
- 你想让他来这里 - 你几乎 You wanted him to come here. You practically
强迫我这样做的 forced me into this.
哦，是我逼你去勾搭两个帅哥的 Oh, I forced you to hook up with two hot dudes.
我太邪恶了 加里 哦 对不起 I'm so evil, Gary. Oh, I'm so sorry.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
- 我要打 911 - 打什么？他死了 I'm calling 911. For what? He's dead!
没错 我们必须解释发生了什么 Exactly. We have to explain what happened.
因为你快死了，进监狱也没什么 You may be okay going to jail 'cause you're dying,
但我还很年轻 but I'm freshly made.
- 我不管 我要打电话 - 盖瑞 不要 意外总会发生！ I don't care. I'm calling. Gary, no. Accidents happen!
这是你第一次成为同性恋 It was your first time being gay.
你会犯错 You were gonna make mistakes.
- 这不仅仅是个错误 - 你说得对 This is more than a mistake! You're right.
我很高兴你有勇气承认这一点 I'm so glad you're man enough to admit that.
- 承认什么？ - 你袭击了我 Admit what? You assaulted me.
- 你开什么玩笑？ - 是你推我的，宝贝 Are you fucking kidding me? You pushed me, babe.
你推了我一把，我的爱人就死了！ You pushed me and my lover is dead!
这就是我要告诉警察的。嗷 嗷 That's what I'm gonna tell the cops. Ow! Ow.
我真不敢相信你会把责任推到我身上 I can't believe that you would pin this on me
我所做的一切都是为了保护你 when all I did was protect you.
保护我，真的吗？ Protect me, really?
他要暴揍你 He was gonna beat you up.
- 我救了你的命 - 别这么夸张，加里 I saved your life. Don't be so dramatic, Gary.
你们俩都会从窗户飞出去 You both would have flown out of that window,
现在看来，这是一个错失的机会！ which now seems like a missed opportunity!
好吧 那就别再救我的命了 Okay, so don't ever try and save my life again, then!
我祈祷 我没有机会！ I pray that I don't have the chance!
不 卡梅伦 你不能就这么走了 No, Cameron, you can't walk away from this.
都是你的错 It's your fault!
你知道吗？你再说一次 我对天发誓 You know what? You say that one more time, I swear to God!
当你第一次告诉我你的家庭时 When you first told me about your family,
我为你感到难过。真的 I felt bad for you. I really did.
但你知道吗？我为他们感到难过 But you know what? I feel bad for them,
因为你是那种典型的橱柜里的人 'cause you're that classic closet case
在扮演受害者的同时，还喜欢扮英雄 that loves to look like the hero while playing the victim.
也许可以试着接受这个事实 Maybe try and accept the fact
你毁掉的生命比你拯救的生命还多 that you ruined more lives than you saved.
你他妈一点都不了解我和我的家庭 You don't know a fucking thing about me and my family.
哦，感谢上帝 Oh, thank God for that.
这是你的房子 加里 你的窗户 It's your house, Gary. Your window.
人不为己天诛地灭 我他妈要走了 Every man for himself. I'm fucking out of here.
你是害虫！你是个威胁 You are a pest! You are a menace!
你是个自私、被宠坏的孩子，我对你没有利用价值！ You are a selfish, spoiled boy, and I have no use for you!
我不想见你，也不想认识你！ I don't wanna see you or know you!
滚出我的房子 Get out of my house!
- 那是 "丹尼斯的威胁 "里的台词吗？ - 滚！ Is that from Dennis the Menace? Go!
操你妈 加里 Fuck you, Gary!
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
哦，上帝啊 Oh, God.
好的 Okay.
妈的 Fuck.
我们要带他去哪里？ So where are we taking him?
- 为什么？ - 别这样看着我 Why? Don't look at me like that.
你太软弱了，我为你感到难过 You're weak, I feel sorry for you,
谢谢你救了我的命，等等等等 and thank you for saving my life, blah, blah, blah.
我想他拉裤子里了 抓住他的手 快点 I think he shit himself. Just grab his hands, come on.
妈的 Fuck!
好吧，要不要把他拖到湖边？ Okay. So should we drag him to the shore,
在他的口袋里塞满石头，然后把他扔进湖里？ fill his pockets with rocks, and then throw him in the lake?
什么？这是你想出来的吗？ What? Did you just come up with that?
是啊 怎么？ Yeah. Why?
这几乎就是我们对杜克所做的一切 That's almost exactly what we did with Duke.
- 杜克特么是谁？ - 我唯一真正的朋友 Who the fuck is Duke? My only real friend.
你他妈是谁 罗伯特-德斯特？ Who the fuck are you, Robert Durst?
上帝啊 卡梅隆 Jesus Christ, Cameron!
杜克是一只威玛犬，我非常非常喜欢它 Duke was a Weimaraner, who I loved very, very much.
- 谁？ - 一条狗 杜克是条狗 A who? A dog. Duke was a dog.
它喜欢水。这是一次合适的送别 He loved the water. It was a fitting send-off.
但狗不穿裤子 But dogs don't wear pants.
天啊卡梅伦，把他扶起来 Oh, God. Cameron, pick him up.
我们面对的是人体 We're dealing with a human body,
一具人类尸体 a human dead body.
他会发臭 他会腐烂 And he's gonna smell. He's gonna rot.
他有家庭，妻子可能恨他 He's got a family, a wife who probably hates him
但不希望他死 but doesn't want him dead.
我们说的是尸体还是你？ CAMERON: Are we talking about the body or you?
我应该背黑锅 I should just take the fall.
不，我不想让帕蒂再做一张名片 No. I don't want Patty to have to make another calling card.
"做了几个月的同性恋者之后 "After a few months as a homosexual man,
加里决定过犯罪的生活" Gary decided to lead a life of crime."
这次是以枯萎的玫瑰为背景吗？ With a wilted rose as the background this time?
哦，太美了 Ooh, stunning.
我真的很高兴你回来了 I'm really glad you came back.
我也是 Me too.
妈的 他的血流穿了油布 Oh, fuck! He bled through the tarp!
那是山白蜡木，非常多孔 That's mountain ash wood, it's really porous.
天啊，你真是个同性恋 Oh, my God, you're so gay.
怎么会没人知道？ How did nobody know?
闭嘴 帮我把这东西搬走 GARY: Shut up and help me move this thing.
我的天啊 你还请了别人过来？ Oh, my God. Did you invite somebody else over?
- 你以为我订了双人？ - 是吗 You think I double-booked you? Well, did you?
- 我当然没有 - 快回答 Of course I didn't. Answer it.
我不想回答 I don't wanna answer it.
我们不能去开门 We can't answer the door.
- 我不知道是谁 - 哟呼 I have no idea who it is. Yoo-hoo!
妈的 Oh, fuck.
雅芳女士来电 Avon lady calling!
是桑迪 It's Sandy.
- 桑迪他妈是谁？ - 我的邻居 Who the fuck is Sandy? My neighbor.
哦，该死 Oh, shit.
加里 Gary!
我该怎么办？ What am I supposed to do?
我浑身都是血 I'm completely covered in blood.
我知道该怎么做 I know what to do.
你要去哪儿？ Where are you going?
加里？是你吗？ Gary? Is that you?
我的天啊我的天啊我的天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
有人吗？加里？ Hello? Gary?
- 那是帕蒂的围裙 - 现在不是了 That's Patty's apron. Not anymore.
- 你打算怎么办？ - 去开门 What are you gonna do? Answer the door.
不，不，你不能去开门 No, no, you can't answer the door.
- 我去开门 - 有一具尸体 I'm gonna answer the door. There's a dead body--
- 哦... - 嗨 Oh... Hi.
你不是加里 You're not Gary.
不，不，不，不 No. No, no, no.
我很可爱，你一定很漂亮 I'm cute, and you must be pretty.
所以，这意味着我们都很可爱 So together that means we're pretty cute.
你真幽默 我叫桑迪 You're a hoot! I'm Sandy.
哦，桑迪，是什么风把你吹来了 这个美丽的夜晚？ Oh, Sandy, what brings you over here this beautiful night?
我应该问你同样的问题 I should be asking you the same question.
这太像加里了 少言寡语 That's so like Gary. A man of few words.
我是他的房地产经纪人 科里 科里・海姆 I'm his real estate agent, Kory. Kory Haim.
- 像那个演员？ - 不，你想的是费尔德曼 - Like the actor? - No, you're thinking of Feldman.
是的，有两个科瑞 不，有两个科里 Yeah. No, there was two Coreys.
还有科里-费尔德曼（Corey Feldman）和科里-海姆（Corey Haim） There was Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.
不，我认为只有一个 No, think there's just one.
感谢您的到来。加里 Thank you for coming. Gary!
嘿，你 -- Hey, you're--
你不是在对面那座华丽的宫殿里吧？ You're not in that gorgeous palazzo across the way, are you?
加里在哪儿？你为什么这么晚还在这里？ Where is Gary? And why are you here so late at night?
哦，我在做检查。Smog. Oh, I'm doing an inspection. Smog.
你知道，我--我想我听到 You know, I-- I thought I heard
刚才微弱的尖叫声 the faint sounds of screaming earlier,
我想，好吧，加里的家 and I thought, well, Gary's home,
所以我自然而然地想过来看看 so naturally I thought I would come on by
在我去商店的路上 on my way to the store.
但在安眠药发作之前，我得上路了 But I gotta hit the road before the Ambien kicks in.
我想它已经启动了。开动！就像他们在Grey's.上说的那样 I think it already kicked in. Stat! Like they say on Grey's.
你是麦当劳女孩吗？ Oh! Are you a McDreamy girl?
一直是 All the way.
我能从你的眼睛里看出来，珊迪 I could see it in your eyes, Sandy.
哦 Ooh!
哦！ Oh!
我只需要一些面粉... I just need some flour...
制作巧克力香蕉面包 to make my chocolate chip banana bread
早上为我的教会小组服务 for my church group in the morning.
当然可以。不是酮，但非常基督教 Sure, yeah. Not keto, but very Christian.
我们只是拼命祈祷碳水化合物不会长在屁股上 We just pray so hard that the carbs don't stick to our hips.
哦！ Oh!
你知道吗？我刚意识到一件事 You know what? I just realized something.
我知道加里把面粉放在哪里 I know where Gary keeps the flour.
- 哇. - 耶. Wow. Yeah.
你为什么不在这里等着？ So why don't you just wait right here?
就在这里坐下，别动 就在那儿坐下，别动 Right here. Sit, stay. Right there. Sit, stay.
坐下，别动 Sit, stay.
别动 好孩子 好孩子 Don't move. Good girl. Good girl.
我马上回来 好的 I'll be right back. Yeah, okay.
他穿着围裙 He's wearing an apron.
哦... Oh...
多一个也无妨 One more won't hurt.
该死 该死 该死 Shit, shit, shit.
哦，上帝啊 Oh, God.
他把面粉放哪儿了？操 操 操 Where does he keep the flour? Fuck, fuck, fuck!
我知道 I know.
什么？ What?
你不用藏起来 你被我逮个正着 You don't have to hide it. I caught you red-handed.
好吧 听着 这完全是个错误 Okay. Look, it was a whole mistake,
一来二去 and one thing led to another--
心想事成 The heart wants what the heart wants.
什么 我拿到帕蒂的名片了 What? I got Patty's card.
整个街区都是哦 The whole neighborhood did. Oh.
你不必为爱他而感到羞愧 You don't have to be ashamed of loving him.
加里是个好人 Gary's a wonderful man.
我和帕蒂还是那么亲近 I'm so close to Patty still.
她只是对整件事感到恶心 She's just sick over the whole thing.
她对自己的所作所为和反应感到非常愧疚 She feels terribly about what she did and how she reacted.
但现在他不跟她和孩子们说话了 But now he won't talk to her or the boys.
我知道他受伤了 And I know he's hurt,
但她真的很担心他 but she really worries about him,
- 尤其是现在自己一个人 - 我很抱歉帕蒂... especially now all by himself-- I'm sorry. Patty...
帕蒂想和加里谈谈？ Patty wants to talk to Gary?
哦，比什么都重要 Oh, more than anything.
她一直在求他 She's been begging him
至少在他澄清之前 -- to at least just clear the air before he--
你知道，只是... You know, just...
好吧 这... Right. That's, uh...
我不知道。我不知道 I didn't know that. I did not know that.
哦，那一定很尴尬 Oh, well, must be awkward.
为了加里 为加里 For Gary. Yeah.
他不能告诉你前任的事情 He must not tell you things about the ex.
- 是啊 - 是啊 - Yeah.Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
所以，我要说的就是这些 So all that's to say,
别再偷偷摸摸了，地产经纪人先生 no more sneaking around, Mr. Estate Agent.
我是个很酷的基督徒 我支持同性恋 I'm a cool Christian. I'm down with the gays.
我可能就不为你的婚礼烤蛋糕了，哈哈！ I may just not bake a cake for your wedding, ha-ha!
是啊，你已经确定了 Yeah, well, you already established
- 你没有面粉 - 你说对了 你说对了 you don't have any flour. Yeah! You got me there!
加里在哪儿？我想看看你们两个罪人的表演 Oh, where's Gary? I wanna see you two sinners in action.
加里 Gary!
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
加里 桑迪 Gary. Sandy!
亲爱的 你没把那些波斯菊都打翻了 Honey! You did not spill all those cosmos!
波斯菊？ Cosmos?
是的！ Yes!
你得到了整个投手 You got the whole pitcher
就在你面前 right down the front of you.
- 波斯菊？ - 是的 Cosmos? GARY: Yes.
是的，我们正在举行 "欲望都市角色扮演之夜" Yes, we were having Sex and the City role-play night.
是的 Yes.
好吧，让我们让另一个投手上场吧 Well, let's get another pitcher going,
因为我是萨曼莎，我喜欢做爱 because I'm Samantha, and I love fucking.
是的，你就是，你这个小流氓 Yes, you do, you little scamp.
教会女孩懂得下跪 Church girls know how to kneel.
我要 I'm gonna
那就再做一些波斯菊吧 just make some more cosmos, then.
你真是个该死的夏洛特 You are such a fucking Charlotte.
太激动人心了 好久不见 This is so exciting! It's been ages
自从我有过这样的女生之夜后 since I've had a girls' night like this.
啊 Aw.哦 Aw. SANDY: Ooh!
卫生间在哪里？ Where's the bathroom again?
我一兴奋，下面就会有点松弛 I... When I get excited, I get a little loose down there.
天啊 嗯... Oh, Jesus. Um...
好了，我现在要播放第二部电影了 Okay, I'm gonna just cue up the second movie.
大家的最爱 Everyone's favorite.
浴室就在左边 Bathroom's right to the left.
右边到左边 Right to the left.
我们为什么要看《欲望都市 2》？ Why are we watching Sex and the City 2?
你真是个艾丹 我需要你做个大先生 You are being such an Aidan. I need you to be a Mr. Big.
我根本不知道那是什么意思 I have no idea what that even means.
至少我说的是实话，你这个狡猾的婊子 At least I tell the truth, you wily bitch.
什么？闭嘴 What? Shut up!
对... Right...
向左 to the left.
我们可以在《欲望都市》之后抛弃尸体 We can dump the body after Sex and the City,
但现在，冷静 but right now, chill.
我的天啊 我的天啊 我的天啊 Oh, my God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
桑迪，事情不是你想的那样 Sandy, this is not what it looks like.
- 不是吗？ - 没有 It's not? No, it's not.
好吧... O-okay.
你说得对，不是这样的 You're right, it's not.
- 桑迪... - 你知道吗？只是... Sandy... You know what? Just...
嗯，我们还是回在面粉上吧 Um, let's just 86 the request on the flour,
因为我刚想起来，我的游泳池里还有一些 because I just remembered that I have some in my pool.
我只想在这里补充一点 And I would just like to add here,
我绝不相信你们会下地狱 in no way do I believe that you are going to hell,
至少不只是因为是同性恋 at least not just for being gay.
所以，我只是要找到门口 So I'm just gonna find my way to the door
然后我就离开这里 and then I'm gonna be out of here!
- 桑迪，等等 - 你是同性恋 Sandy, wait! You're gay.
- 你本该是好人 - 桑迪，别这样 You're supposed to be nice! Sandy, please.
桑迪 Sandy.
你把我锁在里面 You locked me in!
不，不，不。珊迪 No. No, no. Sandy.
你想杀了我 You're trying to kill me!
我们没有 事实上，门没锁 We're not. It's unlocked, actually.
拉，别推，亲爱的 Pull, don't push, hon.
桑迪 桑迪 Sandy! Sandy!
桑迪 桑迪金斯 Sandy! Sandykins!
桑迪？ BOTH: Sandy?
桑迪？ Sandy?
在哪？我们不会伤害你的 宝贝 Where the--? We're not gonna hurt you, babe!
她是星体投影吗？她他妈的去哪儿了？ Is she astral-projecting? Where the fuck did she go?
桑迪？ Sandy?
桑迪 Sandy.
桑迪 Sandy!
出来吧，宝贝 珊迪 Come out, babe. Sandy!
嘿，嘿 Hey, hey!
桑迪 Sandy!
加里？ Gary?
我刚吃了一大把药 I have just taken a fistful of drugs,
我就会在几分钟内被镇静或死亡 and I will be sedated or dead within minutes,
感受不到病态、扭曲、同性恋的堕落 feeling none of the sick, twisted, homosexual depravity
你让我基督般的身体遭受 you subject my Christ-like body to!
药片 Pills!
桑迪 桑迪 Sandy! Sandy!
桑迪 Sandy!
桑迪？ Sandy?
这到底是怎么回事？ What in the Hoarders hell?
欢迎来到我以前的生活 Welcome to my old life.
桑迪，听着我真的很担心 Sandy, listen. I'm really concerned
你吃了多少药？ about the amount of pills you've taken.
如果你还有更多，我绝对会向你购买 And if you have more, I would absolutely buy them off of you.
她在哪里？ Where is she?
她不在这里她当然不在 She's not here. Of course she's not here.
你为什么要养狗笼子？ Why do you even have a dog cage?
是杜克的 It was Duke's.
对，就是你把妮可-基德曼扔进湖里的那条狗 Right, the dog you Nicole Kidman'd into the lake.
弗吉尼亚-伍尔夫，是的 Virginia Woolf'd, and yes.
你还留着他的笼子？为了纪念他 And you still keep his cage? To remember him by!
你需要学会放手。这是不健康的 You need to learn to let things go. It's not healthy.
你有资格告诉我什么是健康吗？ You're in a position to tell me what's healthy?
嘘！你听到了吗？衣柜壁橱 Shh! You hear that? The closet. The closet!
桑迪？ Sandy?
卡住了 快走，快走，快走 It's jammed. Move, move, move.
好吧，显然是锁上了 All right, it's obviously locked.
你不能从里面锁上壁橱 You can't lock a closet from the inside.
壁橱里面的专家如是说 Says the expert on being in the closet.
闭嘴 哇哦 Whoa. You know what, shut up. Whoa.
我可以放手了 I can let go of things.
我更喜欢有物证 I prefer to have the physical evidence
我真的在这里。好吧，我真的不知道 that I was actually here. Okay, I don't really know
狗笼就是最好的例子 if a dog crate is the best example of that.
对你来说一切都是玩笑吗？那不是玩笑 Is everything a joke to you? That wasn't a joke.
你有没有停下来考虑过别人的感受？ You ever stop to consider anybody else's feelings ever?
你想谈论别人的感受吗？ You wanna talk about other people's feelings?
让我们来谈谈你是如何没有胆量 Let's talk about how you don't have the balls
把自己的家人叫回来的 to call your own family back.
你怎么知道的？ How do you know that?
是啊 Yeah.
她说帕蒂想和你谈谈 She said Patty wants to talk to you,
- 但你拒绝了 - 你不会明白的 but you just refuse. You wouldn't understand.
所以你是同性恋 So you're gay.
所以他们的反应很糟糕。给他们回电话 So they reacted badly. Call them back.
哦，好吧，让我听听来自一个 Oh, okay, let me just, um, take some advice
以给人快乐结局为生的孩子的建议吧 from a kid who gives happy endings for a living.
哦！这里的关键词是 "快乐"，你个可悲的混蛋 Oh! The operative word there is "happy," you sad fuck.
- 哦，我很可悲？ - 是啊. Oh, I'm sad? Yeah.
你为什么不检查一下 Why don't you examine
你这没教养的家伙！ your own uneducated existence, you Jezebel!
耶洗别？ Jezebel?
当我知道耶洗别是谁的时候 When I find out who Jezebel is,
我想我会很生你的气！ I assume I'm gonna be so mad at you!
- 别跟着我 - 嘿，你知道吗？ Don't follow me! Hey, you know what?
当你决定出柜的时候 Your life isn't the only one that changed
改变的不只是你自己的生活 when you decided to come out.
为了他们，我不得不变成一个我讨厌的人！ I had to be someone I hated for them!
- 这不是他们的错 - 你以为我不知道吗？ And that's not their fault. And you think I don't know that?
加里，你去哪儿？ Gary. Gary, where are you going?
妈的 Fuck!
我总是做我应该做的事 I always did what I was supposed to do.
我去了教堂 I went to church.
我很年轻就结婚了 I married young.
我在比你年轻的时候就有了孩子！ I had kids when I was younger than you are!
想象一下，如果我现在有个孩子 Imagine if I had a kid right now.
那就太毒了 That'd be so toxic.
我遵守了所有规则！ I followed all the rules!
我不吸烟。我适量饮酒 I didn't smoke. I drank in moderation.
上世纪 90 年代，我从饮食中剔除脂肪 I cut fat out of my diet in the '90s
并在 2013 年鳄梨变大时把它放回原处！ and put it back in 2013 when avocados got big!
好吧 我这一生都很优秀 Okay. My whole life, I've been good!
一个好丈夫 A good husband.
一个好父亲 A good father.
好吧 有点难 Okay. That was a little bit hard.
一个好人 A good man!
我一点都不喜欢！ I didn't enjoy any of it!
加里，说真的，你刚才打到我的头了 Gary, seriously, you just hit my fucking head.
你知道吗？ And you know what?
有我的一部分 There is a part of me,
我内心某些可怕的部分在责怪他们 some terrible part of me, that blames them.
但这是我的错！ But it's my fault!
都是我的错 都是我的错 It's all my fault! It's my fault!
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
都是我的错 It's my fault.
加里？加里，加里 Gary? Gary, Gary!
加里 嘿，深呼吸 来吧 Come on. Gary. Hey, just breathe. Come on.
我喘不过气了 来吧 来吧 Come on.来吧 Come on. I can't breathe. Come on. Come on.
你没事的 我不能呼吸了 You're okay. I can't breathe.
我知道 我无法呼吸 I know. I can't breathe.
呼吸 呼吸 我无法呼吸 Breathe. Breathe. I can't breathe.
我无法呼吸 对不起 对不起 I'm sorry.I'm sorry. I can't breathe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我很抱歉叫你耶洗别 I'm sorry for calling you Jezebel.
我甚至不知道耶洗别是谁 I don't even know who Jezebel is.
但如果她像我一样，我们就会支持她。她性感吗？ But if she's anything like me, we stan. Is she hot?
你知道，我...其实我很羡慕你 加里 You know, I... I actually envy you, Gary.
哦，拜托不，说真的，我愿意 Oh, please. No, seriously, I do.
你的一生都在对所有人撒谎 You spent your whole life lying to everyone about everything,
但你还是有很多收获 but you still have a lot to show for it.
你恐慌症发作了 You do. You're having a panic attack
在你自己该死的网球场上，看在他妈的份上！ on your own damn tennis court, for fuck's sake!
当我告诉他我是同性恋时，我爸爸甚至都不承认 My dad didn't even acknowledge when I told him I was gay.
他只是说 "对我来说，你不是" He just said, "Not to me, you're not."
然后他又回去看电视了 And then he went back to watching TV
就像从未发生过一样 like it never happened.
第二天，我在床上留了一张纸条 Next day, I left a note on my bed,
驱车离去，一去不复返 drove away, never to return.
纸条上写了什么？ What did the note say?
"去你妈的，你这个偏执的死胖子 "Fuck you, you bigoted fat fuck.
"你儿子是个娘娘腔的荡妇，喜欢被人插屁眼" Your son's a sissy whore faggot who loves it in the ass."
大意如此 Or something to that effect.
我真的不记得了，但是... I can't really remember, but...
我想，他其实是好意 He actually meant well, I think.
他以自己怪异、癫狂的方式... In his own weird, demented way, he...
他认为，如果我是同性恋，他就必须停止爱我 He thought that if I was gay, he had to stop loving me.
所以他选择了无视 So he chose to ignore it
因为他想继续爱他的儿子 because he wanted to keep loving his son.
但有条件地爱一个人不是爱，而是... But loving someone with conditions isn't love, it's...
监狱 prison.
你是个好人 卡梅伦 You're a good man, Cam.
是啊，就在今晚 Whoo, yeah, based on tonight,
我觉得我们俩实际上都没那么好 I don't think either one of us is technically that good,
但我对此表示感谢 but I appreciate that.
好吧，至少可以松口气 Well, at least it's some relief
知道有人 knowing there are people out there
在世界上比我们更糟糕 being worse than us in the world.
是啊 Yeah.
你刚才说什么？ What did you just say?
世界上还有更坏的人吗？ There are worse people in the world?
加里，你真是个天才 Gary. Gary, you're a fucking genius.
我？是的，是的！是的！ I am? Yes! Yes!
我们只需找到比我们更糟糕的人 We just have to find somebody worse than us.
一个如此疯狂、丧心病狂的人 Someone that is so insane and deranged,
他们会让我们摆脱困境 they'll get us out of this whole mess.
我们要做的就是 回到Plungr上 All we have to do is-- Get back on Plungr.
人生所有问题的起点和终点 The beginning and the end of all of life's problems.
你必须努力消除内心对同性恋的恐惧 You have got to work on your internalized homophobia.
这实在令人震惊 It is seriously shocking.
走吧 加里 Let's go, Gary!
"我们走 加里" "Let's go, Gary."
你在干什么？暗网 加里 What are you doing? The dark web, Gary.
在 Looking2Succ 的手机上？ On Looking2Succ's phone?
你想让它追溯到你的吗？ You want it traced back to yours?
拿着这个 Hold this.
进行面部识别 上帝啊 Do the facial recognition! Jesus Christ.
动手吧 Do it!
现在怎么办？我在做呢 加里 What happens now? I'm doing it, Gary.
做什么？暗网 Doing what? The dark web.
很难做到吗？亲爱的 Is it hard to do? Honey!
你为什么去弄点咖啡什么的？ Why don't you make us some coffee or something?
好吧 "教堂管风琴手 有管子没管子都能弹" Okay. "Church organist, can play with or without pipes."
教堂风琴师为什么要在暗网上做广告？ Why would a church organist advertise on the dark web?
- 这是暗语 - 什么意思？性的东西？ It's code. For what? Sex stuff?
摘取器官 Organ harvesting, duh.
嗯"马戏团，马戏团，老虎和熊，哦，去死吧" Mm. "Circus, Circus, Tigers, and Bears, Oh, Die."
我不想知道 I don't think I wanna know.
他们不是人兽交，就是军火商 They're either into bestiality or an arms dealer.
这是两码事 Those are two very different things.
啊，人们会这么想 Ah, one would think.
好吧，这个写着 "在我胸口拉屎" Okay, this one says, "Shit on my chest."
屎好吧，屎是棕色的。棕色也是泥土的颜色 Shit. Okay, so shit's brown. Brown is also the color of dirt.
嗯，箱子，就像埋箱子？像宝藏一样？像海盗？ Um, chest, like burying a chest? Like treasure? Like pirates?
他们就是想找人在自己胸口拉屎，加里 They literally just want someone to shit on their chest, Gary.
哦 对不对？ Oh. Right?
就像在说 "滚回属于你的普隆格去吧 废柴女王" It's like, "Go back to Plungr where you belong, scat queen."
加里，这是我们要找的人 Gary. Gary, this is our guy.
"肉偶"。收集无生命的羊排玩耍 "Fleshpuppet. Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play,
没有任何牵绊，也没有任何附加条件" with no strings to hold me down, or attached."
"肉偶"？杰佩托绝不会 "Fleshpuppet"? Geppetto would never.
"收集没有生命的羊排玩"？ "Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play"?
嗯 Mm-hm.
- 我不喜欢这声音 - 我喜欢 I don't like the sound of that. I do.
让他把这块6英尺2英寸的羊排从我们手中夺走吧 Let him take this literal 6'2" lamb chop off our hands.
他要死尸干什么？ What does he want with dead bodies?
操他们，吃他们，操他们，吃他们 Fuck them, eat them, fuck them and eat them,
一边吃一边操 fuck them while eating them,
把它们做成皮肤衣，当零件卖掉 make a skin suit out of them, sell them for parts,
把他们打扮得像他妈妈一样。这样的例子不胜枚举 dress them up like his mom. The list goes on and on.
你以前没看过电影吗？ Haven't you ever seen a movie before?
总之，这不关我们的事，好吗？ Anyway, that's none of our business, okay?
我们只是供应商 We are just the supplier.
别再拿道德指南针指着我了 Do not go getting a moral compass on me again.
在他过来之前，我们应该先收拾一下 We should probably clean up before he comes over.
这一点真的重要吗？ Does that really matter at this point?
加里，你快死了并不意味着 Gary, just because you're dying does not mean
你不应该以最佳状态示人 you shouldn't always look your best.
我说的不是我的外表 I was not talking about my appearance.
- 我说的是血 - 哦，天哪，加里，你是对的 I was talking about the blood. Oh, my God, Gary, you're right.
我们需要给你改头换面！ We need to give you a makeover!
卡梅伦，不是的 Cameron, no. Yes!
蹲下一点 ♪ Squat a little ♪
♪ 蹲下 ♪ ♪ Squat ♪
站在那里 想着你的样子 ♪ Standing there Thinking what you look like ♪
没人在乎 你看起来像什么？ ♪ Nobody gives a fuck What you look like ♪
站在那里 想着你的样子 ♪ Standing there Thinking what you look like ♪
没人在乎 你看起来像什么？ ♪ Nobody gives a fuck What you look like ♪
站在那里 想着你的样子 ♪ Standing there Thinking what you look like ♪
没人在乎 你看起来像什么？ ♪ Nobody gives a fuck What you look like ♪
当你无计可施时 你无计可施时 ♪ When you're lost for moves And you got no game ♪
你想放纵一下 蹲下 ♪ And you wanna cut loose ♪ ♪ Squat ♪
当你无计可施时 你无计可施时 ♪ When you're lost for moves And you got no game ♪
你想放纵一下吗？ 深蹲？ ♪ And you wanna cut loose ♪ ♪ Squat ♪
当你不酷又不要脸 ♪ When you lose your cool And you got no shame ♪
你还想无礼？ 蹲下？ ♪ And you wanna get rude ♪ ♪ Squat ♪
当你不酷又不要脸 ♪ When you lose your cool And you got no shame ♪
你想变得粗鲁吗？ ♪ And you wanna get rude ♪
♪ 蹲下 ♪ ♪ Squat ♪
嗒哒 Ta-da!
好吧，嗯... Okay, um...
我看起来就像我自己，只不过穿的是蓝色衣服 I look like me, but in blue.
是啊 Yeah.
盖瑞，你真是个不折不扣的zaddy You are a total zaddy, Gary.
好吧，我是一个很酷的... Ooh! Okay. I am a cool...
性感zaddy. hot zaddy.
- 请不要在室内吸烟好吗？ - 这不是烟，这是吸食 Can you please not smoke inside? It's not smoke, it's vaping.
只是不要在室内进行 Just don't do it inside.
我们刚杀了一个人，但我不能在里面吸大麻？ We just killed a man, but I can't vape inside?
误杀一人 Accidentally killed a man.
大麻不是应该对你有好处吗？ Isn't weed supposed to be good for you, with the cancer?
- 我更喜欢食疗。- 不行，碳水化合物太多了 I prefer edibles. No, too many carbs.
去他的 Screw it.
- 如何操作？ - 只需按下按钮 How do I work it? You just press the button.
按住？按住？然后吸气 Hold it? Press it? And inhale.
然后呢？ And then what?
肉偶 Fleshpuppet.
- 我的天啊 - 巴克 Oh, my God. Buck.
嗯... Um...
我是加里 I'm Gary.
好的 加里 All right, Gary.
- 你到底让不让我进去？ - 哦，好啊 You gonna let me in or what? Oh, yeah.
酷毙了 Cool.
嗯 Mm-hm.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
你是谁？ Who are you?
嗯，卡梅伦，这是巴克 Um, Cameron, this is Buck.
肉偶？ Fleshpuppet?
巴克 Buck.
嗯，你不是... Um, you're not...
- 你很性感是啊 - 我知道 生活不公平 You're, like, hot. Yeah, I know. Life ain't fair.
尸体在哪里？ So where's the body?
呃，开始前有个小问题 Uh, quick question before we begin.
- 你是警察吗？ - 警察？ Are you a cop? A cop?
- 是的 - 什么？不！你是吗 CAMERON: Yes. What? No! Wait, are you?
不 No.
你是警察吗？你看起来有点像警察 Are you? You kind of look like a cop.
- 谢谢 - 这可不是恭维 Oh, uh, thank you. That's not a compliment.
不，我根本不是警察。当然不是，我不是警察 No, I'm not a cop at all. Of course not, I'm not a cop.
很好 因为暗网建立在信任之上 Good. 'Cause the dark web's built on trust.
把它缝成枕头 Stitch that into a pillow.
我的礼貌呢 巴克 Where are my manners, Buck?
要喝点什么吗？ Um, can I offer you something to drink?
- 你们有红牛吗？ - 哦，我的上帝。我倒希望有 Y'all got Red Bull? Oh, my God. I wish.
这是我唯一没有的东西 That's the one thing I don't have.
- 妈的 - 呃，我不知道 Fuck! Uh, I don't know
到底该如何启动这件事 exactly how to get this thing started,
那我就给你讲讲吧 so why don't I just tell you a little bit
我们是如何陷入困境的？ about how we got into this pickle?
卡梅伦和我邀请了这位先生 Cameron and I invited over this gentleman--
哇，哇，哇 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 尸体是男的？ - 是的 The body's a man? Uh, yes.
这样可以吗？ Is that okay?
身体就是身体 Mm, body's a body.
哦，我的上帝。进步。你真性感 Oh, my God. Progressive. You're hot.
好的 我们请来了一位可爱的先生 Okay. Um, so we invited over this lovely gentleman.
我们觉得他很可爱 Well, we thought he was lovely.
原来他真的很生气 It turns out that he was really angry--
这个腼腆的混蛋走过来，从窗户摔了出去 This closeted fuck came over and fell out the window.
- 嗯。听起来模棱两可 - 不 不 Hmm. That sounds ambiguous. GARY: No, no.
我们向你保证，发生的一切都是意外 We assure you that everything that happened was an accident.
- 你在哪里杀了他？ - 就在外面 Where did you kill him? Right outside.
- 你把尸体搬走了？ - 在壁橱里 You moved the body? It's in the closet.
这使得清理工作变得更加棘手 That makes your cleanup much trickier.
你们看过《消失的女孩》吗？ You guys ever seen Gone Girl?
只有本·阿弗莱克的老二那段 BOTH: Just the part with Ben Affleck's dick.
- 加里 - 什么？我喜欢本·阿弗莱克 Gary. What? I love Ben Affleck.
你俩以前从未处理过犯罪现场清理工作？ So you have never dealt with a crime scene cleanup before.
嗯，没有。不，不 Um, no. No. No.
你们真幸运，我有备而来 Well, lucky for you guys, I come prepared.
咳咳，好吧。说说我吧 Ahem, all right. A little bit about me.
我是摩羯座，上升星座是巨蟹座 I'm a Capricorn with Cancer rising.
我喜欢长跑 I love long-distance running,
旧的科学教科书，还有该死的尸体 old science textbooks, and fucking dead bodies.
我的天啊 我太喜欢摩羯座了 加里 Oh, my God. I am such a sucker for Capricorns, Gary.
因为我是基督徒 Because I'm a Christian,
我将带你进行深度清洁 I'll walk you through the deep clean,
但你必须自己去做这些工作 but you're gonna have to do the legwork yourself.
我只需要身体作为回报，不许问任何问题 All I need in return is the body, no questions asked.
对不起，只有一个问题 I'm sorry, um, just the one question
关于 "该死的尸体"？ about, uh, "fucking dead bodies"?
不许问问题 No questions asked.
对，但只有一个问题 Right, but just the one question
- 在没有问题之前 - 不，不，不 before no questions. No, no, no.
就这样，就这样，就这样 That's all, that's all, that's all.
非常感谢，肉偶先生 Thank you so much, Mr. Fleshpuppet.
我又有了新的想法。太迟了 I'm having second thoughts. Too late.
他对尸体做了什么关你什么事？ What do you care what he does to the body?
- 我在乎 - 你想留着它吗？ I care. You wanna keep it?
- 我不想留着它 - 好吧，好吧，好吧 I don't wanna keep it. Ut-shay up-yay!
让我离开这里！哦！ SANDY: Get me out of here! Oh!
听起来你们的问题不止一个，孩子们 Sounds like you got more than one problem on your hands, boys.
不，只有《欲望都市》 No, just Sex and the City.
不，那是 真实家庭主妇...... No, that's Real Housewives of...
两个：雷诺 BOTH: Reno.
马拉松 CAMERON: Marathon.
我们是布拉沃头人 We're Bravoheads.
好样的 Bravo.
好吧 你们有氧气漂白剂吗？ All right. Y'all got oxygen-based bleach?
呃......我去看看 Uh... I'll go check.
哇 BUCK: Wow.
这房子真他妈棒 加里 Banging fucking house, Gary.
- 谢谢 - 哦，这是什么？ Thank you. Ooh, what's this?
哦，嗯... GARY: Oh, um...
把它放下 请放下 Put that down. Please.
它非常易碎 It's just very delicate.
谢谢 Thank you.
你们干得真快 You guys are making very quick work of this.
我很感动。我可能要雇你们了 I'm impressed. I might have to hire you guys.
是的 谢谢你的帮助 Yeah. Thank you for all of your help.
是啊 谁知道清理犯罪现场这么累啊 Yeah. Who knew crime-scene cleaning could be so exhausting.
你们介意我休息一下吗？ You guys mind if I take a smoke break?
我认为我们应该继续通过 I think we should keep working through--
加里 Gary.
好吧 天井只是 -- Fine. Patio's just--
我们已经在里面吸过了 谁管他抽不抽烟？ We already vaped inside. Who cares if he smokes?
对，你是客人 Yeah, you're the guest.
哦，你要来点吗？ Oh, did you want some?
我还以为你不会问呢 I thought you would never ask.
哦 对不起 加里 你想先打吗？ Oh, sorry. Gary, did you wanna hit it first?
哦，是的，为了拥有最多的主人 Oh, yes, for the host with the most.
继续说不，我没事 Go on. No, I'm fine.
随你便吧，缉毒警 Suit yourself, narc.
失陪一下，好吗？ Would you just excuse us for one second, please?
你想让我难堪？ You're trying to embarrass me?
进来 快克是我的底线 Get in here. Crack is where I draw the line.
加里-- Gary--
天啊，这间化妆间 嗯... Oh, my God, this powder room. Well...
这是帕蒂的设计 This was Patty's design.
我会采取更简约的方式 I would take a more minimalist approach.
哇，你给了她一个房间来装饰 Wow, you gave her one room to decorate.
你是一个压迫者 You are an oppressor.
啊--嚓--嚓--嚓 Ah-cha-cha-cha!
好吧，说到这里，你能不能冷静一下？ Okay, speaking of, can you please be cool out there?
快克一点也不酷！ There is nothing cool about crack!
你知道要想获得无愧于心的快克有多难吗？ Know how hard it is to get crack offered to you guilt-free?
"无愧于心"？是的 "Guilt-free"? Yeah.
这他妈不是花椰菜皮披萨 This isn't a fucking cauliflower-crust pizza.
- 这是A级毒品 - 加里 你知道 It's a Class A narcotic! Gary, do you know
如果我现在就要死了，我会吸多少快克？ how much crack I'd be smoking if I was dying right now?
- 很多。 - 是的，没错。很多 A lot. Yes, that is correct. A lot.
很多他妈的快克！嘘！ A lot of fucking crack! Shh!
那首歌是怎么唱的？"吸快克就像你快死了" How does that song go? "Smoke crack like you're dying."
我没听说过，但我肯定事情不是这样的 I've never heard it, but I'm sure that's not how it goes.
管它呢 这是混音版 Whatever. It's a remix.
我们要出去 We are gonna go out there
和能把这具尸体弄走的人 and smoke a shit-ton of crack
吸一大堆快克 with the guy who's gonna get this dead body off our hands.
而你会对此很淡定！ And you'll be cool about it!
- 卡梅伦 不！ - 走 Cameron. No! Yes!
哇哦 干得好，老伙计 Whoa. Nicely done, old boy.
- 别吸太多 卡梅伦 - 去死 Not too much, Cam. Get fucked.
我们刚杀了一个人 We just killed a man
衣柜里还有一位可爱的女教徒 and there's a sweet church lady in the closet.
我就知道楼上有位女士 我爱你们 I knew there was a lady upstairs. I love you guys.
我想抽多少就抽多少 I'm gonna smoke as much crack as I want,
因为今晚我也有很多第一次，加里 because it's been a lot of firsts for me too tonight, Gary.
你要去哪儿？ Where are you going?
哦嗬嗬 Oh-ho-ho!
我的妈呀 Holy shit.
妈的 我感觉... Fuck! I feel...
我觉得... I feel like...
我还记得我的第一束光 I remember my first light.
就像我坐了一次飞机，在你的脑海中享受了一次快乐 It's like I took a flight, a pleasure in your mind.
感觉刚刚好 It feels just right.
哇哦 刚才押韵了吗？ Whoa! Did that just rhyme?
- 你听到了吗？ - 没有，我什么都没听到 Did you hear that? No, I didn't hear anything.
这是你的潜意识 加里 内疚感在悄悄蔓延 It's your subconscious, Gary. Guilt's creeping in.
别管它。我就是这么做的 Just ignore it. That's what I do.
你听到了吗？ Did you hear that?
你脑子里的声音，就像 "啪 "的一声 That sound in your head, it's like a popping sound.
流行音乐 Pop!
流行流行 啪！啪！啪啪！啪！啪 Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
完全正常。这是你的思维在扩展，我的朋友们 Totally normal. It's your mind expanding, my friends.
不要理会恶魔，专注于感觉 Just ignore the demons and focus on the feeling.
这种感觉 The feeling.
我觉得 I feel...
我觉得...... I feel...
很好 Good.
你去了... ♪ Where have ♪
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
男孩 不要停止带我 嗨 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪ ♪ High ♪
午夜布鲁克林 ♪ Midnight in Brooklyn ♪
你先靠过来 ♪ You leaned in first ♪
我没注意 但你就在那儿 ♪ I wasn't looking But there you were ♪
我的堕落天使 ♪ My fallen angel ♪
♪呼唤我的名字 呼唤我的名字 ♪ ♪ Calling my name Calling my name ♪
我的堕落天使 ♪ My fallen angel ♪
♪呼唤我的名字 呼唤我的名字 ♪ ♪ Calling my name Calling my name ♪
迷失在黑暗的房间里 在空气中行走 ♪ Lost in a dark room Walking on air ♪
不必见到你 就知道你在那里 ♪ Don't have to see you To know you're there ♪
♪为你的方式而死♪ ♪ Die for the way you're ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
♪为你的方式而死♪ ♪ Die for the way you're ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
你给我的感觉 我发誓你让我更上一层楼 ♪ The way you make me feel I swear you take me higher ♪
是的，我是你的一切愿望 ♪ Yes, I'm your every desire ♪
带我回家 但要带我飞得更高？ ♪ Take me home But take me higher ♪
你给我的感觉 我发誓你让我更上一层楼 ♪ The way you make me feel I swear you take me higher ♪
是的，我是你的一切愿望 当你带我更上一层楼 ♪ Yes, I'm your every desire When you take me higher ♪
你去了... ♪ Where have ♪
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 嗨 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪嗨 ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
♪没有谎言 ♪ ♪ No lie ♪
♪没有谎言 你的双手束缚着我的双手 ♪ ♪ No lie Your hands keep my hands tied ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 高 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪High ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
♪跳进钻石里 一千只眼睛 ♪ Jump into diamonds A thousand eyes ♪
♪守望寂静 当我们越飞越高...... ♪ Watching the silence As we get higher... ♪
是这样吗？ Is this what it's like?
怎么样？ What's like?
是啊，就是这种感觉 Yeah, this is what it's like.
来吧 Come on.
来吧！ 在哪里？ ♪ Come on! ♪ ♪ Where have ♪
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 高 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪High ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
♪你去了... ♪ ♪ Where have ♪
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 高 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪High ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪ ♪ High ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
快克对身体不好 Crack is so bad for you.
非常 非常糟糕 Really, really bad.
非常、非常、非常糟糕 Very, very, very bad.
当然 For sure.
你们在为 "被提 "做什么吗？ You guys doing anything for the Rapture?
什么？被提 What? The Rapture.
末日。末日 Doomsday. End times.
我刚建好防空洞 I just finished building my bomb shelter.
我有全套装备和所有东西 I got a full kit and everything.
我把我所有的礼服都放进去了 I put all my regalia in there.
欢迎你们加入我的行列 You guys are welcome to join me.
谢谢，肉偶 Thanks, Fleshpuppet.
你呢，缉毒警？ What about you, narc?
我想我不会看到世界末日 I don't think I'll be seeing the end of the world.
别这么悲观 嘿 Don't be such a pessimist. Hey.
他快死了 He's dying.
- 真性感 - 放回裤子里 That's hot. Keep it in your pants.
- 你还有多长时间？ - 好吧，这太无礼了 How much longer you got? Okay, that's so rude.
你不能这么问别人 You don't ask people that.
等等，你还有多长时间？ Wait, how much longer do you got?
- 一个月 - 哦 A month. Ooh.
一个月？差不多吧 A month? Give or take.
我要... I'm gonna...
我会让你们 I'm gonna let you guys
一起私聊一会儿 Terms of Endearment it up together for a little bit.
加里，我要去你的浴室里打手枪 Gary, I'm gonna go jack off in one of your many bathrooms.
嗯，没关系。我想... Mm, that's okay. I think, um...
我们都该回房子里了 we should all go inside now.
加里，我不知道 Gary, I had no idea.
我没有说过，所以... I didn't tell you, so...
真希望你说过 I wish you would have.
卡梅伦 Cameron.
我的蛋呢？ Where's my egg?
好了，先生们，刚才真是......太有趣了 Well, gentlemen, that was, uh... That was fun.
但我还是该去收尸了 But I should probably collect my corpse
并在其他人醒来之前溜之大吉 and skedaddle before the rest of the world wakes up.
你知道，不能被人看到拖着一具尸体到处跑 You know, can't be seen dragging a dead body around
在光天化日之下，现在，我们可以吗？ in broad daylight, now, can we?
加里 加里 Gary. Gary!
把蛋给我 Give me my egg.
你他妈在说什么？ What the fuck are you talking about?
- 你把它放进裤子里了？ - 没有，那是我的老二 Did you put it down your pants? No, that's my dick.
我们都在湖里看到你的老二了 巴克 We both saw your dick in the lake, Buck,
我们都同意，它看起来一点也不像 and we can all agree it doesn't look anything like that.
哇哦 哇哦 让我们对萎缩有点同情心吧，孩子们 Whoa, whoa. Let's be a little empathetic to shrinkage, boys.
这他妈的是我 That is my great-great-grandmother's
曾曾祖母的蛋，你他妈的最好还给我 fucking egg, and you better fucking give it back.
不然呢？ Or what?
男孩们 男孩们 Boys. Boys.
拜托，我们有更好的办法解决这个问题，对吧？ Come on, there's a better way we can work this out, right?
对不对？ Right?
好吧 你说得对 你说得对 All right. You're right. You're right.
你抓到我了 我们做个交易 好吗？ You caught me. Let's make a deal, okay?
如果你死后我能拥有你的身体... I will give you your great-grandmother's egg back...
我就会把你曾祖母的蛋还给你 if I can have your body after you go.
我的天啊 你个变态 Oh, my God. You sick fuck!
好吧 好吧 你想交换吗？ Okay, okay. You wanna trade?
把蛋还给他，你就能得到你的身体 Give him his egg back and you can get your body.
- 哦，那身体已经是我的了 - 那颗蛋特么是我的 Oh, that body's already mine. Well, that egg is fucking mine!
一个月后，虫子就会吃掉你这死基佬的屁股 Worms are gonna be eating your dead gay ass in a month.
这有什么关系？天啊 What does it even matter? Jesus.
这他妈有什么关系？ What does anything fucking matter?
是啊 Yeah.
怎么，我说了什么敏感的话吗？他为什么 What, did I say something insensitive? Why is he--?
好吧，你知道吗？去你妈的 Okay, you know what? Fuck you.
哦，你关心朋友的样子真可爱 Oh, it's cute you care about your friend.
好吧 你想要什么？ All right, fine. What do you want?
我去开那个死人的卡车 I get the dead guy's truck.
- 你为什么要卡车？ - 我打车来这的 Why do you want a truck? I Uber'd here.
离婚后，我失去了一切 I lost everything in the divorce.
好吧 随便吧 当然 成交 All right. Whatever. Sure. Deal.
啊 Ah-ah!
我的小弟弟不小 My dick isn't tiny.
不，我需要你用语言表达给我听 No, I need you to verbalize it for me.
真的吗？ Tell me. Seriously?
- 好吧，你的小弟弟不小 - 谢谢 Okay, your dick is not tiny. Thank you.
好了 现在我们去把你的尸体抬回来吧 Okay. All right. Now let's go get you your dead body.
终于 上帝啊 Finally. Jesus.
所以，他有掉队的习惯 So he has a habit of falling out,
所以请记住这一点 so just keep that in mind.
- 这不是我第一次参加牛仔竞技，伙计 - 嘿 This ain't my first rodeo, pal. Hey.
我不想让巴克拥有尸体 I don't want Buck to have the body.
加里，现在几乎是高峰时间 Gary, it's practically rush hour.
不，我们不能把身体交给这个...... No, we cannot give the body to this...
扭曲、阴暗面的精神病患者 twisted, dark-sided psychopath.
好吧，我开始觉得自己被审判了 Okay, I'm starting to feel judged,
我快要气疯了 and I'm about to get mad.
不 不 别生气 我们会把你的身体还给你 No, no, don't get mad. We're gonna give you your body.
- 他应该得到体面的葬礼 - 上帝啊，我不是禽兽 He deserves a proper burial. Jesus Christ, I'm not an animal.
我干完他 就埋了他 天啊 I'm gonna bury him after I'm done fucking him. Jesus.
把门打开，把尸体给我 Open the door and give me the body.
- 不要开门 - 开门开门 Don't open the door. Open the door. Open the door.
- 不要开门 - 闭嘴！把他妈的门打开 Do not open the door. Shut up! Open the fucking door!
我这就去开门 谢谢 I'm opening the fucking door! Thank you.
搞什么鬼？搞什么鬼？ What the fuck? What the fuck?
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
妈的 Shit.
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
他还活着，你们这些该死的白痴 He's still alive, you fucking idiots.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
我们安全了 We're in the clear!
- 我不是同性恋 - 宝贝，什么？ I'm not gay! Babe, what?
我不是同性恋 我不是同性恋 I'm not gay! I'm not gay!
现在，先生，你受了重伤 Now, sir, you've been seriously injured.
我担心如果你不接受治疗 I'm afraid that if you don't get medical attention,
你会死的 you could die.
我不能让我的家人知道我在这里 I can't have my family knowing I was here.
别报警 求你了 求你了 求你了 放我走吧 Don't call the cops, please. Please, please, just let me go.
我对天发誓，我再也不吹箫了 I swear to God I'll never suck cock again.
你宁死也不想让家人知道你是同性恋？ You'd rather die than have your family know you're gay?
我他妈不是同性恋 I'm not fucking gay!
我不是... I'm not...
同性恋 gay.
找到他了 Got him.
哦，我的上帝，你...你他妈的又杀了他 Oh, my God, you... You fucking murdered him again!
- 这是我的尸体 - 他没死 Hey. It's my body. He wasn't dead!
现在他已经死了 He's dead now.
你知道，看到你们试图帮助他，伙计们 You know, I'm a little upset, guys.
我有点心烦意乱 Seeing you try to help him.
还以为我们谈妥了呢 Thought we had a deal.
把他放下来 Put him down.
你打算怎么办？ What are you gonna do about it?
加里 CAMERON: Gary!
加里 加里 Gary! Gary!
我告诉过你别惹我生气，缉毒警 I told you not to make me angry, narc!
放开他 Get off of him!
我迫不及待地想把你干死 I can't wait to fuck the death into you.
太恶心了 That's so gross.
太性感了 That was so hot.
是啊 Yeah.
我知道 I know.
你从哪儿弄来的滑板车？ Where did you get a scooter from?
这是我儿子的 It's my sons'.
哦 Oh.
我知道你说过不再救你的命，但是... I know you said never to save your life again, but...
我就允许这一次 I'll allow it this once.
还记得我们只需要担心一个尸体的时候吗？ Remember when we only had one body to worry about?
上车 我知道一个地方 Get in. I know a place.
现在你才告诉我 Now you tell me.
你想过自己葬于何处吗？ Ever think about where you wanna be buried?
对不起 Sorry.
这个问题太操蛋了 That's so fucked up to ask.
无论我想要什么 They're probably just gonna give me
他们可能都会给我进行某种宗教葬礼 some kind of religious burial, no matter what I want.
谁在乎呢？ So who cares?
我在乎 I care.
我不知道 就是妮可·基德曼和我的狗在湖里 I don't know. Just Nicole Kidman me in a lake with my dog.
这是个不错的选择 That's a good choice.
值得奥斯卡最佳影片 Oscar-worthy.
- 桑迪？ - 哦，嗨 Sandy? Oh, hi.
嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.
哦 天哪 你一直在园艺吗？ Oh, my. Have you been gardening?
哦 嗯... Oh, um...
- 一点点 - 对你有好处 A little bit. Heh, good for you!
嗯 Mmm.
看看我，就像在自己家一样 Look at me, just making myself right at home.
听着，嗯，关于昨晚... Listen, um, about last night...
哦，我真不好意思 Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
我什么都不记得了 I don't remember a thing.
你不知道？ You don't?
哦，上帝啊 Oh, God.
呃 哦 珊迪 你看起来... Uh-uh. Oh, Sandy, you did seem...
醉的厉害 very inebriated.
哦 加里 Oh, Gary.
就像我们 It was right as we--
我正准备看《欲望都市 2》 I was about to watch Sex and the City 2,
以及关于 and something about...
- 辛西娅... - 尼克松 Cynthia... Nixon.
尼克松 真的把你惹火了 Nixon really set you off.
哦，她真的让我很烦恼 Oh, she really does bother me.
- 但比不上夏洛特 - 哦，没错 But not as much as Charlotte. Oh, exactly.
你威胁要自残 Yeah. You were threatening self-harm,
然后你在我可以帮你之前 and then you locked yourself in the closet
把自己锁在壁橱里 before we-- I could help you.
好吧，我告诉你一件事 Well, I'll tell you one thing,
这不是我第一次在壁橱里醒来 not the first time I've woken up in a closet.
我的丈夫，愿他安息 My husband, God rest his soul,
他几乎要把我绑在床上 he practically had to tie me to the bed
防止我从阳台上跳下 to keep me from jumping off the balcony
受到《海滩》中，贝蒂·米德勒的创伤 in the middle of Beaches, that Bette Midler trauma.
我肯定这很糟糕 I'm sure that's terrible.
我好孤独 I'm so lonely.
你不也很孤独吗 加里 Aren't you lonely too, Gary?
是啊 Yeah.
好吧，我最好能好好相处 Well, I better be getting along.
得上路了 Gotta hit the road.
保重 Stat.
好的 Okay.
你是个好人，加里 You're a good man, Gary.
我不在乎别人怎么说 I don't care what anyone else says.
好的 Okay.
好吧，再见 再见 再见 再见 再见 Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
再见！再见 Bye! Bye-bye! Bye.
再见 Bye-bye!
我的天啊 加里 你说对了 Oh, my God. Gary, you nailed that.
- 有吗？ - 是的，婊子 Did I? Yes, bitch.
《欲望都市 2》？ The Sex and the City 2 of it all?
你真的很有自己的风格 You have really come into your own.
我现在是正式的同性恋了吗？ Am I officially gay now?
稻草人，同性恋一直都在你的内心深处 Being gay was inside of you all along, Scarecrow.
我开玩笑说我还想让其他同性恋进入我的身体 This is where I joke about other gay things I want inside of me.
学生成为了老师 大师好. The student becomes the teacher. Namaste.
你想知道搞砸了什么吗？ You wanna know something fucked up?
从我还是个小女孩起 Ever since I was a little girl.
昨晚可能是我感觉最有活力的一晚 Last night might be the most alive I've ever felt.
真是一团糟 That is so fucked up.
我真的很高兴能遇见你 I'm really glad I met you.
即使多人因此丧生 Even if multiple people are dead because of it.
这是别人对我说过的最好听的话 That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
在我忘记之前... Before I forget...
我把它放进了裤子里 I put it in my pants.
你应该留着它 You should keep it.
让我留念的东西 Something to remember me by.
是你的了 加里 It's yours, Gary.
你不必吻我，卡梅伦。真的 You don't have to kiss me, Cameron. Really.
我不会吻你的 I'm not gonna kiss you.
你会吻我的 加里 You're gonna kiss me, Gary.
哇 Wow.
你确定这是你的第一次？ Are you sure that was your first time?
我正好适合那里。 I just fit right in there.
哦，上帝啊 Oh, God.
加里，我真的觉得你应该给你的儿子们打个电话 Gary, I really think you should call your sons.
我不喜欢这番话的时机 I don't love the timing of that statement.
是的，我明白不，我明白，但是... Yeah. No, I get that, but...
你应该 you should.
我不知道该说什么 I wouldn't know what to say.
过了这么久 After all this time.
不过，你会的 You do, though.
- 谢谢你的衣服 - 是啊，你穿起来更好看 Thanks for the clothes. Yeah, they look better on you.
加里，我只是... Gary, I just...
我想说 I wanna say...
你真性感 you're hot.
万一我以后忘了告诉你...... And in case I forget to tell you later...
今晚我玩得很开心 I had a really good time tonight.
漂亮女人 Pretty Woman.
是啊 Yeah.
好吧，如果你，嗯... Well, if you, um...
你想打电话给我 You wanna call me
或再次相聚... or get together again...
卡梅伦 Cameron.
谢谢 Thank you.
嗯 Mm-hm.
好的 Okay.
一个月后
"亲爱的朋友和家人 "Dear friends and family...
最近公开了自己的同性恋身份 After recently coming out as a gay man,
加里·奥康纳尔于5月31日星期日去世 Gary O'Connell died on Sunday, May 31st,
在家中安息" peacefully in his home."
加里 Gary.
"追悼会将于 "Memorial service will be held
6月7日，在抹大拉的玛丽教堂和墓地 at Mary Magdalene Church and Cemetery, June 7th.
为纪念他，可向教堂捐款" Donations in his memory may be made to the church."
搞什么鬼？ What the fuck?
......想知道如果是我和 -- ...wondering what if it's been me and--
我不知道，我只是无法克服 -- I don't know, I just couldn't get over--
胡说八道 CAMERON: Bullshit.
嗨，帕蒂 Hi, Patty.
我收到你的请柬了 你个荡妇 I got your fucking invitation, you Hallmark hussy.
那张贺卡既漂亮又有品位 That card was beautiful and tasteful--
加里一定会恨死它的 And Gary would have hated it.
- 你听着 - 不 不 不 没关系 Listen, man. You got-- No, no, no. That's okay.
我来这里是因为我很关心加里 I'm here 'cause I cared a lot about Gary.
很多 A lot.
我认识了真正的他 And I got to know the real him.
你们从未见过的他 The him that none of you ever got to see.
那个加里... And that Gary...
加里会恨死这一切的 that Gary would have hated this.
你知道的 And you know that.
不是吗，帕蒂？ Don't you, Patty?
- 你说完了吗？ - 我不知道 我说完了吗？ Are you finished? I don't know. Am I finished?
我知道你认为你有一个很好的理由来... I know you think you had a good reason for coming...
但让我告诉你 but let me tell you this.
我们都做出了自己的选择 We all made our choices.
我丈夫做出了他的选择 My husband made his choice.
当时的他是否选择了正确的道路？也许吧 And was it the right one for him at the time? Maybe.
但事实是，如果我知道 But the truth is, if I had known,
也许我的选择会有所不同 maybe my choices would have been different.
因为这是 Because this was...
我从来没有妨碍过加里的愿望 never about me standing in the way of what Gary wanted.
这是关于他的 This was about him.
我们俩浪费了太多的生命 And the both of us wasted so much of our lives
试图成为对方想要的样子 trying to be what the other person wanted.
这么多年来，我一直在努力 So much trying, so many years.
我们从未成为过自己想要的人 And we never did get to be who we wanted.
我们都没有。永远不会 Neither one of us. Ever.
直到最后 Until the end.
他并不后悔。他很生气 He wasn't sorry. He was angry.
于是我也生气了 And so I got angry too.
我们都选择在这种愤怒中忍耐了很久 And we both chose to sit in that anger for a long time.
太久了 Too long.
但后来我们做出了另一个选择 But then we made another choice.
我们有勇气将这一切抛在一边 And we had the courage to put all that aside.
这就是我最终认识的那个人 And that is the man that I finally got to know.
上帝保佑，你敢站在那里... So God help me, don't you dare stand there
并告诉我，我不知道他是谁？ and tell me that I didn't know who he was.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
很好 Good.
父亲，我很抱歉 Father, I'm so sorry about that.
嘿，你以为你在里面干什么？ Hey. What the hell did you think you were doing in there?
听着，我不是来找麻烦的 Look, I'm not here to cause any trouble.
你确实叫我妈 "霍尔马克荡妇" Well, you did call my mom a "Hallmark hussy."
是啊，有时候话到嘴边就... Yeah, words just kind of fall out of my mouth sometimes and...
- 我不知道 - 好吧 明白了 I don't know. Right. Understood.
是啊 Yeah.
我父亲联系我们了 My father reached out,
他告诉我们，他遇到了一个人... and he told us that he met a guy...
那个人说，他应该给家人打个电话 and that that guy said that he should call his family.
我只想说，因为有你 And I just wanted to say, because of you,
我们的爸爸回来... we got our dad back...
更早了一会儿 for a little while longer.
这... That's...
我很高兴 I'm glad.
然后是这个 And then this.
他想让我把它交给你 He wanted to make sure I gave it to you.
他说你知道该怎么做 He said you'd know what to do with it.
我是这么想的 I do.
我能不能......？ Could I just...?
嗯... Um...
我能和他单独谈谈吗？ Can I just get a moment with him?
你们能转过身去吗？ Can you turn around, please?
对不起 Sorry.
谢谢 Thank you.
哦，加里... Oh, Gary...
我的爱人 my lover...
我的朋友... my friend...
我插入你处女洞的那一天 the day I penetrated your virgin hole...
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
...是我一生中最美好的一天！ ...was the best day of my life!
我们可能不会同时离开世界 And we may not be leaving this Earth at the same time,
但至少我们走到了一起！ but at least we came together!
你他妈的在干什么？ What the fuck are you doing?
妈的 妈的 Fuck. Fuck.
我们来搞点同性恋吧 加里 Let's do some gay shit, Gary.
站住！你要去哪儿？ Stop! Yo! Where are you going?
你是 Are you--?
午夜布鲁克林 ♪ Midnight in Brooklyn ♪
你先靠过来的 ♪ You leaned in first ♪
我没注意 但你就在那儿 ♪ I wasn't looking But there you were ♪
我的堕落天使 ♪ My fallen angel ♪
♪呼唤我的名字 呼唤我的名字 ♪ ♪ Calling my name Calling my name ♪
我的堕落天使 ♪ My fallen angel ♪
♪呼唤我的名字 呼唤我的名字 ♪ ♪ Calling my name Calling my name ♪
关在小黑屋里 在空气中行走 ♪ Locked in a dark room Walking on air ♪
不必见到你 就知道你在那里 ♪ Don't have to see you To know you're there ♪
♪为你的方式而死♪ ♪ Die for the way you're ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
为你的方式而死 ♪ Die for the way you're ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
♪你去了... ♪ ♪ Where have ♪
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
他来找你了，公爵 He's coming for you, Duke.
滴滴钻石 ♪ Dripping in diamonds ♪
千双眼睛 ♪ A thousand eyes ♪
静观其变 ♪ Watching the silence ♪
当我们得到更高的值时 ♪ As we get higher ♪
这并不复杂 ♪ It's not complicated ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
♪它升高了♪ ♪ It's elevated ♪
♪在我身上跳舞 在我身上跳舞 ♪ Dancing on me Dancing on me ♪
太多的夜晚 我被困在脑海中 ♪ Too many nights I was trapped in my mind ♪
♪ 努力突破 ♪ ♪ Trying to break free ♪
现在我投降 ♪ Now I surrender ♪
♪都靠你了 ♪ ♪ All up on you All up on you ♪
带我上天堂 ♪ Take me to heaven ♪
♪都靠你了 ♪ ♪ All up on you All up on you ♪
♪你去了... ♪ ♪ Where have ♪
操！Unh！ Fuck. Unh!
你去了哪里 我的一生和 ♪ Where have you been All my life and ♪
妈的 Fuck!
男孩，不要停止把我 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
♪没有谎言 ♪ ♪ No lie ♪
♪没有谎言 你的双手束缚着我的双手 ♪ ♪ No lie Your hands keep my hands tied ♪
男孩，不要停止把我 ♪ Boy, don't stop taking me ♪
♪嗨过所有 ♪ ♪ Higher than I've ever been ♪
♪比天还高的是♪ ♪ Higher than the heavens is ♪
♪高♪ ♪ High ♪